So my girlfriend and I sat on a park bench watching our girls practice volleyball the other evening and were finally given the time to catch up on what was going on in our busy lives. The conversation turned into the challenges we were having with our twelve- year olds- Mine almost 13 and reminding me of it daily.
I was upset because my daughter was not in the mood to help clean the house the other day. I am talking about dusting, vacuuming, and laundry. My girlfriend said I had it good if she was ever doing that. She was having problems with her daughter’s room. “Why are their rooms a mess?” She asked. I have to say my daughter usually keeps her room with a clean floor except that she tries outfits on in the mornings and puts the outcast outfits on the floor until she gets home at night. It turned out my girlfriend’s daughter did the same thing. What is up with that I asked? I do the same thing getting ready for work in the morning, but my extra clothes go on my bed, not on the floor. I spend hundreds of dollars on these clothes for me and my daughter and it is hard to imagine putting the clean clothes on the floor.
That’s when my girlfriend told me of “the chair”. Oh yes, her daughter claims that every child their age has a “chair” where all the clothes are allowed to go so that you can easily get them for school the next week. I laughed because I had to admit that my daughter does have this famous chair in her room too. The clothes can be on the hanger and are still slumped over the chair instead of just put in the closet. I tend to allow it because at least they are not on the floor.
But I had to laugh that this seemed to be a tween movement of sorts-“the chair”.
Recently for school I have bought her nice clothes that she asked me for. Certain brands and while I had to pull from resources that didn’t come comfortably, I was abe to it. My daughter was aware of the money that was spent and that it was difficult for me. I haven’t found any of these clothes on the floor, only on the Chair in the mornings. Does this mean she didn’t respect my resources or my rules of the house? Or was she just being a lazy tween?
I have told her that I won’t buy these nice clothes again if I find any on the floor and if she is only going to wear one or two over and over that I will take everything else back. She has promised that now she is a seventh grader, things will change. I have a stake in this too. I have promised that I won’t come in nagging about the room unless there are things on the floor and food containers left in her room. Eating in her room is a privilege as well as having decent clothes to wear so hopefully this has been a learning lesson.
How many of you have “the Chair”?