Happiness is the new RICH.
Living in my glass house, I never imagined that I would become a single parent again-Yes, you heard me say “AGAIN”. Previously, I had been a single parent beginning with my two boys when they were just starting preschool. Now in their late thirties with families of their own. I struggled for years and years taking any help I could get to make sure they had a place to sleep and food to eat. I swore to myself I would never go through that again, not for just my mental and physical well being but I always felt that my boys deserved a better life. As a struggleing single parent, both stress and regret tend to go hand and hand.
Needless to say years later, I found myself emotionally broken and in a state of despair when yet another marriage didn’t stand the test of time.
I could barely dress myself or get out of bed because in my denial, I had not seen the separation coming. I was determined that it was all just a bad dream and I would wake up any moment. I volunteered to work at church for a book fair that following weekend. Not a church that we attended regularly, but we had enrolled our daughter in a faith based preschool which gave us a small amount of comfort. I wondered why people were asking me if I was ok. No one could possibly know the turmoil my life was in, so why were people suddenly concerned about my well being? When I finally got home that afternoon, I realized quickly why people had been looking at me. I looked in the mirror and soon realized that I had my dress on – inside out. Yes, true story… I was in pretty bad shape.
Well years later, I have no anger or resentment and I have created a happy and peaceful life. Did this come quickly? No! Did we have some very hard times? Yes! But no matter what you go through or have been brought up knowing, there comes a time when you realize whatever the situation is, it is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to take accountabilty for your situation. I had to make that decision and make time to pull myself up by my bootstraps and make a life for myself and my daughter who was just entering elementary school.
I won’t tell you being a single mom is easy, but I will tell you it is the most rewarding job. I work a full time corporate job, I finished my Bachelors degree online, I have my own business reselling items and media, and I manage to keep a supply of groceries in a pretty clean house despite the dog and my now teenage daughter trying to rule the house. I am not qualified to give you advice about your situation, but I can tell you how I manuevered the waters to get to the peace i have worked for.
Friend or Foe
Be prepared to lose some friends as first. I found that becoming a single woman with a small child scared some of my close girlfriends. My new family life seemed to create a condition of caution because if the situation could happen to my family, then maybe it could happen to their family as well. I even had a friend or two that asked me not to use the word “divorce” in front of thier children and if anyone asked where my husband was, that it would be best to respond that he was working. I was told it was better not to introduce this situation to them at this time.
Was I to believe I was the only one going through this? Was my daughter the only child of a single parent income in her entire school? Of course not, but I did abide by my friend’s requests, usually saying he was working or with other family. The charade didn’t last long when my daughter found that talking about it was her way of coping. One day while getting a free cookie fromt he grocery store bakery, she blurted out, “Thank you, My daddy just left us.” I was stunned and smiled at the baker as i pushed the grocery cart on. What could i do? She needed to deal as well.
What you will find is that your true friends will stick by you and you will even meet some new friends who are going through the same trials and tribulations. Don’t get discouraged.
Which brings me to why I started this site. Friends were always asking me how I do everything I do. How do I work several jobs at the same time and manage to have a set dinner time and so forth. I’m No SUPERWOMAN, but I’ve learned to put things into perspective and i will tell you, faith plays a very big part of my life. As years go by. You will find that some things that you thought were a priority and so important such as your job, just really don’t matter. Yes, you need a job and a paycheck, but that is very different from getting your self worth from your job or working seven days a week. If you were to die today, the open job position would be posted probably sooner than your obituary. Something to think about. Faith and Family are essential to happiness and as you read, you will understand exactly what I am talking about. Happiness is the new RICH.
So put on your seatbelt and let’s dive in.